"Mom, dad, Jordan and I want to get married here." The "here" being my parents house. A traditional red brick, English-esq home planted on two acres of land in quaint Lebanon, Ohio. The picture was complete with a white-pillar-porch and spacious deck off the back. My dad had bought the land and built the house. While it was still being built, I remember my whole family of four crowding on a few mattresses on the floor and sleeping in the unfinished home because we just couldn't wait.
"Jordan, I know you're really busy this semester. So, would it be helpful if we just scheduled a time to hang out? Like once or twice a week? But on days that I don't see you I think I would need like a 5 minute phone call if that's ok."
I felt like I spoke in little more than a whisper and inside I was dreading his response. I prepared my heart to hear, "Ya I think just once a week and we will have to see about the phone calls." "Babe, I don't know, we will just have to feel it out." "I really can't add anything else to my schedule right now."
3,700 people were cheering, whistling, and screaming as Jordan knelt down on one knee. My hand went to my mouth and laughs exploded from each of us because this was actually happening. He had mismatching socks, I wasn't wearing shoes, and we were getting engaged under the spotlight. We were on stage at Miami's Charter Day Ball, a situation made possible by weeks of Jordan's planning and coordinating. I still don't know the full extent of how this underground dream came to surface, but, I do know that every moment spoke to Jordan's character and the big dreams we have for our life.
I've been in this scenario dozens of times with different guys: I feel unloved, I ask him to love me better, he tells me he's giving me all he's got, I feel like he doesn't want to love me, he feels like a failure, we leave more hurt than before, end scene.